Thursday, February 15, 2007

A little thought about VD (not the disease, the day)

I feel like the most special woman in the world!

Keep your diamonds, your firs, your romantic getaways...
Hubby cleaned and mopped the kitchen and the bathroom as a suprise for me. It is the best gift I have gotten in quite sometime.


Bad Analogies and Metaphors

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a
surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other
from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
East River.

"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a
college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in
any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal
paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:15 PM

|

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Why I LOVE men in kilts!!!

New addition -

You Are 50% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 4:15 PM

|

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Bobbit tracks have been seen in the vacinity. 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:17 AM

|