Friday, August 12, 2005

I have not been sleeping well, I know that is not news to most of you. It has been worse than usual lately. The 25th anniversary of a horrendous moment in my life is coming up on the 17th of August. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to handle it. I only told one person about the 'event', not even my family knows, and I'm still not going to share this with them.

On August 17, 1980 I was raped and strangled by a man that I had been dating for six months. He was stopped and I was revived. It was never reported to the police and as it turns out, the name that I knew him by, wasn't even his real name. I sometimes call this the Anniversary of my murder, for I did die briefly, and sometimes call it my almost murder day. Now, I had thought I had worked through this. Perhaps it is the fact that it is the 25th anniversary of the 'event' that has me rattled, I don't know, but the nightmares are back.

Sometimes I think that I shall celebrate the fact that I am alive, other times I think that I shall just bunker into my room and drink. I honestly don't know what I will do, apart from continue to take my meds and talk to my doc.

I know that this is a bummer post to leave you with for the weekend, but I just needed to vent.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:06 AM

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