Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Chitlin January 21 - February 19
Chitlins often come from humble backgrounds. Many times they're uncomfortable talking about just where they came from. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.
Remember that when marriage time rolls around.

Boll Weevil February 20 - March 20
You have an overwhelming curiosity.
You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger.
Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

Moon Pie March 21 - April 20
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. "Big" and "round" are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea.
It's not going to be easy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

Possum April 21 - May 21
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a "don't-bother-me-about-it" attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your problems actually running you over.

Crawfish May 22 - June 21
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically.

Collards June 22 - July 23
Collards have a genius for communication.
They love to get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essences of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

Catfish July 24 - August 23
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

Grits August 24 - September 23
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits.
You love to travel, though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well.

Boiled Peanuts September 24 - October 23
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones - may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

Butter Bean October 24 - November 22
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

Armadillo November 23 - December 21
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you?Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating possibility.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:37 PM

|

Monday, June 27, 2005

I am seriously considering becoming a mean and nasty bitch. I'm am tired of being nice. All it seems to get me is shit on. Bf has been acting strange for about 2 weeks now. He has been pushing me away. Friday we finally talked about it. He said that he is not used to being with anyone and sometimes feels smothered. I told him that he should have just said something (we had been spending a lot of time together). He says that he doesn't want to break up, but he's giving very mixed signals, and says that what ever happens he wants us to stay friends.

He said that he was going to be gone for the weekend, then calls me on Saturday to come and pick him up and his friends house. Then he installs new speakers in my car and all but ignores me. We were supposed to go back to his friends, but he changed his mind and decided to take a nap so I went home. I called and left a message on Sunday that I wanted to speak to him. When he called me back, I told him that I had been thinking about our talk on Friday and wanted to discuss it further. I wanted to know when he wanted to get together, he asks me to come over and we talk. He told me that I could have stayed on Saturday. I ended up staying the night (the first in a week). When I tried to initiate sex he told me that he wasn't in the mood, yet he cuddled me all night. He kissed me goodbye this morning when I left and wasn't home when I went to have dinner with his sil (he knew that I was coming over). She and I talked and she is a puzzled by his behavior as I am. We've only been seeing each other 2 months.
After dinner tonight, I removed my things from his room and brought them home, maybe with out my stuff there, he won't feel so smothered.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:32 PM

|

just thought I'd share 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 2:52 PM

|

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 1:05 PM

|

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Yesterday I received my copy of the summer edition of 'The Wheel', they have published my poem 'Creation'. This is the second poem that they have published. The first one 'Hecate' was published in the fall 2004 edition. I guess I should get busy and start writing again, but I haven't felt too inspired as of late.

I am slowly packing up the disaster that is my office and weeding out what I am getting rid of. Only four boxes of books packed up so far and I have only cleared 3 and 1/2 shelves on one bookcase (I have 4 bookcases).

I have gotten rid of a lot of clothes, Manic Witch was over last weekend and was able to relieve me of some of them (thanks babe, BTW, you are looking fantastic!). Yesterday, I took six large garbage bags of clothes to my sisters along with a bunch on hangers, and I still have some smaller stuff on hangers to get rid of. I still need to decided what I'm going sell at the yard sale.

I also have to get my sister over here with her digital camera, I have some collectables, jewelry and a few antiques that I am going to put up on eBay.

I will have to coordinate a schedule with her though, she just started a new job (yeah), she is working in a shop that sells essential oils, herbs, and that sort of thing. Her boss is going to be giving her all of the empty oil bottles for me (yeah), so that will help me out. I will be able to use them for my oil blends and then after sis has worked there for 30 days, she can purchase oils for me at a discount. Things are looking up.
Now, if the house would just sell soon and an apartment would open up I would be doing the naked, tiara wearing happy dance.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:32 AM

|

Friday, June 24, 2005

They Live Among Us!

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.
This one was from Kingman, KS.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
And he was a Kansas City chef!

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage with out your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita,

KS IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,"this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,Mississippi!

They walk among us..............scary!!

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:47 AM

|

Thursday, June 23, 2005

It would seem that I have been tagged yet again. This time by This Hapax Legomenon.

Number of Books I own: Over 100. An accurate count is impossible at this time as most of them are packed up.

Last Book(s) I bought: Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems

Last book(s) I read: Belladonna by Michael Stewart

Five books that mean a lot to me: 1 - The Prophet - Kahlil Gibran: 2 - Spiral Dance - Starhawk: 3 - Edgar Allan Poe: Complete Tales and Poems: 4 - To Ride a Silver Broomstick - Silver RavenWolf: 5 - Dictionary

Tagged: Supposedly I'm supposed to tag 5 people...so, if you want to, Anyone.



More hits

pic of 12 and 13 year old female girls breeding - that's just wrong...girls can NOT breed together

bi-sexual snake cancer - yet another cause for cancer! Who knew that snakes were bi-sexual?!

breeding wenches milking breasts stories - these are for sale at the gift shop

boy toilet training bubble pic - I don't even want to know

goddess toilet slave - for sale at the gift shop

chippendale stripper pics - send me some

fucking witch pic - for subscribers only

komputamuso - The're coming to get you Patrick-

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:31 AM

|

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

For all you parents out there!

(This includes all "wanna-be"and "could-have-been-but-chose-not-to-be parents".)

Repeat after me:

I will never complain about MY kids again ........
I will never complain about MY kids again
I will never complain about MY kids again .........
I will never complain about MY kids again ..........
I will never complain about MY kids again ........
I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ..........
I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again .
I will never complain about MY kids again ..........
I will never complain about MY kids again .........
I will never complain about MY kids again ......

 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:20 PM

|

Monday, June 20, 2005

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?

Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Lady 1: Where did you get it?

Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 2:01 PM

|

Thursday, June 16, 2005

File this under another hair removal lesson learned. Ladies...let this serve as a public service announcement/warning regarding the use of Nair.

In my on-going quest for long term hair removal and smooth skin, I finally decided to try Nair instead of my usual shaving. I purchased said product and on Wednesday decided to try it out.
I prepared myself for the hair removal ritual and shower...assembled the necessary equipment.

towel
washcloth
timer
clean clothes
soap
shampoo
cream rinse
hair removal product named above

I am all set to begin. I carefully read the directions on said product and began the application process. I apply the product under my arms, no problems there. I then move to my legs, easy, no problems so far. I move higher up to the bikini area, then the nether region, carefully avoiding the more sensitive areas...so far so good. I move to the sink, wash my hands, dry them and set the timer. As I wait, something begins happening. I feel a tingling sensation in a very sensitive area, wait a minute, I didn't apply any product there. I think that this is strange, but as there is no pain, so I check the timer, 2 minutes left. I wait some more. The tingling is becoming a burning sensation, fuck the timer, I'm getting in the shower and removing this shit NOW! I turn on the water, Holy FUCK! this shit BURNS!!!!!! Get it off now! I jump into the shower, nearly slipping and killing myself in the process, grab the wash cloth and begin to wipe the affected area. I swear it seem to be taking forever to remove this crap. Finally, I get the stuff off.

It would seem that when using the product in it's lotion form, it has a tendency to spread (DO NOT use it in this form in the bikini area). Ladies, this shit will burn your soft sensitive tissue. It burned liked hell to pee for the next 24 hours.

I have since discovered that it comes in a solid roll on, much like deodorant, I recommend that you use it in this form for the bikini area.

On a positive note, it did remove the hair.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:14 PM

|

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Computers

Access denied - na na na NA na !

Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (K)ill something

Hardware: the part of the computer that can be kicked If you can only curse at it, it's software

Hit any key..... With what ?

To continue, strike keyboard with forehead

Where's the CNTRL-ALT-MAKE SENSE button?

Never let any mechanical device know you're in a hurry

HAL 9000: "Dave, put those Windows disks down.. Dave...DAVE!"

Microsoft will make something that doesn't suck when it starts manufacturing vacuum cleaners

Software isn't released, it's allowed to escape

Unable to read User's mind: Disconnect (Y/N) ?

Bad command. Bad, BAD command. Sit! Stay!

If you can't beat your computer at Chess, try Kick-boxing

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software

Not tonight, dear, I have a modem

Backups? We don't NEED no steenking backups

(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)gnore, (V)alium?

Error: keyboard locked -try anything you can think of

Press any key to continue... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE !

RAM disk is not an installation procedure

The computer is mightier than the Pen, The sword, And usually, the programmer

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit

For Sale: One computer slightly used One bullet hole in screen

Computer problems ? Have you checked the loose nut in front of the keyboard ?

Ohnosecond That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG
mistake

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 1:46 PM

|

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I know that I haven't been posting much other than pics and jokes lately, what can I say, I have just been too busy. Between the nice weather, training the bf to be my sex slave, and lack of sleep, I haven't had much time.
Thursday I was officially voted into the Lions club, yeah!
Today I have a graduation party to go to. My best friend of 37 years is having a BBQ to celebrate the fact that her youngest child has graduated high school. Perhaps I shall get to see her from time to time now.
Here are some recient his I received;

sniff smell taste lick panties privat - let's hope you do this in private - stay away from my hamper

evil looking castle pic - pictures of my home are for sale in the gift shop

pic that will make you split - see above

taste lick a witch - by appointment only

exquisite - that would be me

lick pic - is picture licking some kind of new fetish?

goddess vicky - me again



very little girls getting fuck pic - the sick motherfucker that did a search for this needs to be strung up by his balls with piano wire for a week. After he is taken down, he needs to be staked out naked in the blazing sun over a fire-ant hill!!!!!!!

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:21 AM

|

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Always Check Your Eggs!!!!!! 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 3:09 PM

|

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Cleaning the toilet
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:03 AM

|

Sunday, June 05, 2005

History of the Middle Finger
Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? Giving the finger before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! "PLUCK YEW!" Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually hanged to a labiodentals fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird." IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY! And yew thought yew knew everything!

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 3:32 PM

|

Friday, June 03, 2005

more hits -

bi polar dogs - can dogs be bi-polar?

nipple breasts bi - the secret life of nipples and breasts exposed!

Sarcastic witch sayings - a good idea for a book

breasts pic - how many times must I say it, I'll not post them!

just lick your thirties - depends on what flavor they come in...

exquisite torture - hummmmmm

nipple+taste+husband+kiss+suck - ....

bi-polar" AND "famous - yep, that's me

sexy guys on beach pic - where?

result smear boderline changes - huh?

lick that girls pic - please don't lick my pic, I won't feel it and it will only make the pic soggy.

"erotic romance" snape - send me a copy please.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:50 AM

|

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I whored this pic from Weasels in My Shorts 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:23 PM

|

I whored this pic from Weasels in My Shorts 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:23 PM

|

This just screams Xmas...don't it? 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:22 PM

|

... 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:21 PM

|

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

need I say more? 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:32 AM

|

although this... 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:30 AM

|

This is my favorite pic... 

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:30 AM

|