Menopausal Bi-Polar Witch Babbling
I've been blog whoring this morning as I am too hung over to think of anything to post. Check out Creatures in My Head completely whored from Kev over at Darkest Before Dawn.
I whored this from Iridescent Darkness. The scary thing is, the fucking thing is pretty damn accurate about me.
|
Update 3:19 p.m. - well I guess I'm just losing my mind and apparently my hearing is none too good either. On the way out to the dealership, I stopped and put gas in the car and air in the front tire on the drivers side. Took the CCR CD out of the stereo and put in Seether, cranked it up (I was in a metal mood) and headed out. They could find nothing wrong with my brakes, in fact they are in excellent shape, and the car is running well. WTF?!
At least it is a nice day for a drive and I had good tunes for the trip there and back.
Looks to be a busy day - I have added a guest map to my bloggie, please post a pin and leave a comment. It will make it easier for me to stalk you when I get some time, provided the weather is nice, and I'm in your area anyway, and you are doing something exciting enough to be stalk worthy...
I need to take Howard the car into the dealership, the breaks are making a metal on metal noise, they are not supposed to do that. I have owned Howard for less than two month, they will be fixing this - and they will be doing it for free - or they shall feel my wrath!
I need to reach my former landlord - paperwork for him to fill out for the apartment that I am applying for. Government subsidized housing - gotta jump through hoops in the paperwork mountain, then they will do a credit check, a criminal background check and an eviction check.
I have papers for Dr. Bubblehead to fill out in order to prove that I am disabled - like the fact that Social insecurity sends me a disability check every month isn't proof enough. Sheeesh!
To top it all of, the neighborhood sucks! Oh, it's a secure building, even the parking lot is monitored, nighttime security guards and everything - former cop that I know has informed me of gang activities in the area. Fuck! Still, I have to go where I can afford (my rent would be $261.00 a month plus electric) and most of these subsidized places are not in the best of areas. I will go to housing and apply for section 8 next week and see what kind of listing they have.
Tonight I am going to a friends and family night a Sabrina's hubby to be's new store, Gamer's Realm, which will open on May 3 in Antioch. It should be fun.
Well I best get my cute, lazy ass in gear here. I need to shower and shave my girly bits, I supposed that given the weather I should probably get dressed afterward. Then it's call the car dealership, go put gas in the car and air in the one front tire. Ahhh the pressures of day to day life in my boring little corner of the world.
|
Throdkins
|
Spider update -
As reported earlier, there is a sect among the spider group that has metamorphic ability. We have since discovered that they, along with certain blood traitors, are now conducting cross-breeding experiments (as you will see by the photographic evidence retrieved by our agents).
Raids on known facilities have already been conducted and they have been destroyed. Several pregnant females have been removed to a secure medical facility. All further information has been classified.
If you have any information regarding the above mentioned activities, please let us know immediately.
(note - the photos below are actually from a French Aids awareness poster)
|
Evidence of Cross-breeding
|
Evidence of cross-breeding
|
Sex
The most highly sexed beings upon the planet are the creators, the poets, sculptors, painters, musicians...and so it has been from the beginning. And among them sex is a beautiful and exalted gift. Sex is always beautiful, and it is always shy.
Kahlil Gibran
|
*Update 1:25 p.m.* Survived another torture session, they are getting easier, barely.
Intelligence reports all quiet on the spider front for now.
BLOG PARTY - As usual open bar and buffet. Please wear your party clothes and bring your favorite music.
Warning - if you pair (or group) up in the comments section, you may find it as a post tomorrow, so make it explicit or get a room. lol.
The breakfast buffet is up and running. If there is anything special you would like just ask my sister Hildegard, she will see to it.
It is Tuesday, and we know what that means, off to the House of Torture! I really do need it. My legs are so stiff this morning. Too much battle followed by too much dancing and drinking over the weekend. I must remember to stretch before going into battle or before going out dancing.
I have to remind myself that I'm not 25 anymore.
I have caught up on my sleep and am starting to more alert, I was cruising around on about 2 hrs. of sleep Sunday and on not much more than that Monday. I Feel bright eyed this morning though.
Enjoy your breakfast, lunch or supper. There is coffee, tea, milk and juice.
The bar is open 24 hours - I've placed a replenishing spell on the bottles (sorry, it only works in blog land), so we won't run out.
|
In celebration of our victory there is an open bar and buffet.
Please help yourselves.
|
Our forces have successfully penetrated the inner chambers of the nest and the queen has been vanquished. We have retrieved several civilian prisoners and have eradicated all egg sacks found. The nest has been effectively destroyed and purified, thanks to a warrior friend (whom I shall only Identify as C.) and his trusty flamethrower. Our prisoners have all been sent to an undisclosed location for further questioning and processing. Much revelry ensued, and I am only now recovered enough to type this report.
C. has finally returned from his harrowing mission with much in the way of intelligence. He has discovered that there is a sect among the spider group, that can take on the characteristics of the creatures they consume. This only applies to lower life forms, ie.. wasps, crickets, roaches...
The bodies of several of these have been discovered and our scientists are studying them.
This story has hit the headlines 'Exploding toads baffle German experts' we have discovered that the spiders and certain blood traitors are behind this.
|
I don't have much time, so I'll make this quick. The battle at the primary nest continues. We have managed to free the three slayers that had been captured yesterday, and they are in good health. Unfortunately there have been numerous casualties on both sides, but we are making progress. We have been able to penetrate their outer defenses and are entering into the inner chambers now. Our prisoners have been providing some good intelligence and thanks to our special interrogators our prize prisoner has offered up some very important information. I can't give further details as we still have a blood traitor on the loose, and he is monitoring this communication channel. The weather is working in our favor today, it's in the 30's and there are snow flurries. This is slowing them down.
There is a cyber reward of 25 huggs for anyone capturing Alan from Random Burblings alive.
We have...wait a minute, I have to go.
|
*Update 2:01 p.m. CST* The trap has been a success and the battle has been won, though at a heavy cost. Three slayers captured and one slain. We have taken several prisoners and have slain thousands of multitroopers. We have a jewel among our prisoner population, a member of the local arachnid royal family - and a general at that. The advanced guard has already arrived at their local primary nest and the perimeter has been set up...
Wait, I just received word that the rest of the troops have now joined the advanced guard. I must leave you now, the attack on the nest is about to commence.
Spider war update - This will be a short and quick post, more to follow later.
Alan over at Random Burblings left the following comment in response to my last post: A very brief introduction into the History of the Spider Wars.
"Aha! So you have revealed your true identity, spider-slayer. Very foolish of you. Spider headquarters has been contacted with details of your location. Spider stormtroopers are moving into position as we speak for the final assault and anihilation."
Alan, I want to thank you for your assistance. Stormtroopers have arrived and the trap has been sprung. The battle ensues.
BTW - you are now considered a spy and traitor among the spider community. Bawhahahaaha.
|
A very brief introduction into the History of the Spider Wars
I decided that it was time to give you, my dear friends, a very brief introduction into the history of the spider wars. The spider wars have been going on since the dawn of time.
They began even before the formation of our own planet, indeed before the formation of our own galaxy. These are not your every day house and garden spiders, for those are natural creatures, and I hold no animosity toward them (other than being freaked out in general by them).
These creatures are mutant demon spawn, not native to our own universe. They are intelligent and have good communication and organizational skills. I am not the first to battle them and am not currently the only warrior doing so. The war will continue until these mutants are eradicated and the quantum portal is sealed.
I did not choose to become an arachnid warrior, I was chosen. Twenty years ago, I was bitten by one of these evil spawn, marked, it took a piece of my thumb as a sign. Now, they seek me out and others like me. I have no choice but to do battle, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it is my calling.
Once I am settled into my new place, I will contact some of the others and go over the historical documents. I will then write the complete History of the Spider Wars. I will of course include how they came into being and how they entered into our universe. The epic battle sequences, the tragic losses of past warriors and the triumphs. Until I will keep you up to date as new battles take place.
The interrogation of my prisoner continues. It has yet to offer up much in the way of useful information, but tomorrow I am bringing in an expert. I am confident that we shall soon know the location of their local primary nest soon.
|
I have a prisioner! Let the torture begin! Bwahahahah.
|
Burnie
|
Bob
|
Ralph
|
Good Morning blogworld!
It's a beautiful Turdsday morning in Illinois, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, I just want to choke the shit out of someone, anyone! Grrrrrrrrr!
I need to drag my grumpy, broke, ass to the gas station and get smokes. I need nicotine!!!! Yes I have a quit date, not it is not today! Yes I have some of the patches already, just not all of them yet. (Patches, I do need those stinkin' patches!)
Alright, House of Torture day.
Major spider battle day - I am bringing in the heavy weapons. The shop vac comes in from the garage. I have scouted out the dungeon - I have found nests - they don't stand a chance against the 'Shop Vac of Doom'! I will show no mercy, I am hunting for their queen. I shall be victorious, for I am Xena, no, I am Broomhilda, Destroyer of spiders, and I am in full battle mode today!
Pack up the rest of the Halloween shit. Pack up the family history stuff. Shower, collapse.
That is the plan for the day - let us see how close to plan it actually goes.
|
Busy day, The big Halloween items - My 3' tall werewolf named Ralph, the large tombstone, the coffin, the very large ghost named Gregory, my half burned man named Bernie and other assorted items are now safely tucked away in the garage. All of my overtly witchie stuff is packed away in boxes including the majority of my books. I have had to leave a few things out in an unsealed box as I am in the middle of some delicate spell work and need quick and easy access.
Tomorrow, It's off to the House of Torture once again. When I return I shall finish packing the rest of the Halloween shit into totes, then bring in more boxes. I'll start packing up all of my family history binders and papers, a daunting task at best. Shower. Collapse.
Friday - no packing, I must get back to my spell work. Then it is time to continue work on my query letter.
Saturday - Clean the house and carpeting, laundry, shower, hopefully go out and decompress.
Sunday - Sleep late, find somewhere to go between the hours of 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. while the realtor has an open house here. Full Moon (Wind Moon) Lunar eclipse - 5:56 a.m. EST.
I don't even want to think about next week.
|
I whored this from Redheaded 8itch
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: Corkey Emmaus (Name of first pet / Street where you live)
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: Chocolate Darrell (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather’s first name)
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: Scan Harbor Lights (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant)
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: Fennel France (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot)
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: Goober Round Lake Beach (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied)
6. “FLY GIRL/BOY” ALIAS: V. Dec (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)
7. ICON ALIAS: Chocolate Milk (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen)
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: Puppy Round Lake (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School)
9. BARFLY ALIAS: Potato Chip Vodka (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink)
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: Lynn Gabriel (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived)
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: Chocolate Ozbourne (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician)
12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Videc McCor ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother’s maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in for your last name)
|
The spiders are at it again, the first two waves of their attack have been thwarted!
As I had predicted, the first wave was a night attack. I had a difficult night sleeping last night. It was hot in here and I was tossing and turning, fell off the couch. At 1:00 A.M. I got up, turned on the light, and my blood ran cold. There they were, not one, not two, but three of those demon spawn. I very nearly yelled (for though I do squeal on occasion, I am not a screamer), moving slowly and in stealth mode, I reached for my slipper. In a move so quick and sure that it would even impress Jackie Chan, I attacked my adversary. THWACK! Total annihilation of the first enemy. Still in stealth mode, I quickly descended upon the second, CRUNCH! It was no more. The third was moving rapidly across the coffee table, attempting an escape. BAM! An aerial assault, it never knew what hit it. I was triumphant! I am Xena Warrior Princess, defeator of spiders.
Second wave happened just a few minutes ago while I was out on the deck. I was enjoying a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Four of the demon spawn creeping across the deck, heading my direction. I have to admit, my attack was not quite as elegant as the first. I was hopping around, stomping my feet, arms flailing about in a cross between 'Riverdance' and a vertical epileptic fit. Squealing once again like some piglet caught in a trap. Still, I was, once again triumphant.
I'm sure that any neighbors looking out either got a good laugh, or there will be a knock on the door any minute and the men with the nice white jacket that ties in the back will come to collect me.
Well I must get a move on here, there is to be an open house for realtors here today from 9 A.M. to 12:30 P.M. and I want to straighten up a bit. Then I have the House of Torture today as well.
|
I just got some feedback on the showing they did on the house Saturday. The agent showing it loved the house. She said it was clean and smelled good, and she got a kick out of the Halloween stuff in the dungeon. The woman who she showed the house to freaked out! Not only from the Halloween stuff, but from my altar that I keep set up in my office, collection of witches, and other witchie items that I have in my home. I forgot that I live in the Christian capitol of Illinois!
Guess what I am going to have to pack up first? LMAO!
There is going to be a showing here tomorrow for realtors and an open house here on Sunday. i need to borrow my brothers carpet cleaner, I want to shampoo the rug in the living room and the one in the dining room. The hardwood floors are in good shape, so I just need to dust and damp mop them. General light cleaning.
|
George Bush: Read my lips, no new shit. But a thousand points of shit.
Saddam Hussein: This shit happening will be the mother of all shit
happenings.
Martin L. King: I have a shit...
John F. Kennedy: Ich bin ein Scheisser.
Vladimir Lenin: The fastest and most complete way to destroy a culture is
to make its shit happen.
Joseph McCarthy: Are you now, or have you ever been, a happening shit?
Richard Nixon: I am not a shit.
Ronald Reagan: I don't recall if shit happened.
Nancy Reagan: Just say, 'Shit happened.'
Socrates: I am shit. But I know I am shit.
Aristotle: Once a shit is stretched by an idea, it never again happens
in its original shape.
Galileo: They say shit isn't happening. Nevertheless it still happens
Blaise Pascal: We are just shit. But we are thinking shit.
R. Descartes: I shit therefore I am.
A. Einstein: God does not play shit.
W. Heisenberg: The more accurately we observe when shit happened, the less
accurately we observe how big the shit was that happened.
E. Schrodinger: There's a 50% chance that shit happened. And a 50% chance
that it didn't.
F. Nietzche: If shit had never happened, man would create shit.
Ayn Rand: Reason and shit are corollaries. Where reason is used, shit
happens.
Sturgeon: 90% of everything is shit.
Yuri Gagarin: Shit was blue.
Neil Armstrong: For me, that was just a little shit. But when that shit
happened, it was one giant leap for mankind.
Bart Simpson: I will not say, 'Shit happened' in the class.
Al Bundy: This is shit. This is shit when you get married and drop
the shit on the ground.
Bill Cosby: Shit is happening to _The Simpsons_.
Buckaroo Bonzai: No matter where shit happens, there you are.
HAL: Dave, I'm in deep shit.
Dr. Chandra, will I shit?
Dave: Oh my god! It's full of shit!
Obi Wan: Use your shit, Luke.
Marty Mcfly: Don't ever never call me shit.
Gremlins: Don't shit after 12 o'clock.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not shit. I'm just drawn that way.
Robocop: Please stay out of deep shit.
Michael Valentine Smith: Shit groks.
1st Law of Robotics: Robots should not shit or let shit come to happen.
Hari Seldon: Each shit is random. But mob shit is predicable.
Yuppie: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?
God: Wholly shit!
|
Random synaptic mis-firings:
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off
Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
Taoism
Confucius say "Shit Happens"
|
Whored, with permision from Jenny in Wales
Warning to all men
DATE RAPE DANGER TO MEN
Police to warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be more alert and cautious when offered a drink by girls. There is a date rape drug going around called "beer" and it is generally in liquid form.
The drug is now being used by female sexual predators to convince their male victims to have sex with them. All girls have to do is persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. After several "beers" men will often succumb to requests to perform sex acts on horrific looking women who they would never normally be attracted to.
Men often awaken after being given "beer" with only hazy memories of exactly what has happened to them the night before, just a vague feeling that something bad occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men might be stung in a familiar scam know as "a relationship" - apparently men are easy targets for this scam after the "beer" has been administered and they have already been sexually attacked.
PLEASE forward this to every male you know ..........However, if you fall victim to this insidious drug and the predatorywomen administering it, there are male support groups with venues inevery town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with a bunch of similarly-affected, like-minded guys.
For the nearest support group near you just look up 'Public House' in the yellow pages. And remember ..... be careful out there.
|
A Pagan In Heaven
A Pagan died and, much to her surprise, found herself at the Pearly Gates facing St. Peter. He walked up to her and said, "Hello, and welcome.
She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands."
He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please."
Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected.
While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously. The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people? St. Peter replied,
"Them? They're Fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day."
"Why? Don't they have better things to do?"
Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks."
|
The blog slut strikes again...
Found this thanks to H. R. M. Queen of the Universe it just cracked me up.
I have such mixed emotions about selling the house - I love my house and find myself crying at the oddest moments about selling it.
On the other hand - it means, finally getting out on my own, freedom! I'll be living in a shoebox, but I will have my emotional freedom from the ex. - a good thing.
I'm re-reading 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran, I find that this book gives me the calm or should I say the stillness that I find comforting right now. The odd thing is is that I like to read it while listening to heavy metal music, for some reason the mix of the two seem to work for me. I am such a paradox at times. lol.
|
It's official, my house is for sale! The sign went up in the yard 15 minutes ago. The asking price is $167,900.00! I love this house and it kills me to have to sell it, but I can't afford on keep it on my own. So...
Thank you to all of you who left comment on my post from yesterday! And to those of you who offered advise and constructive criticism, It was much appreciated and I shall take all of it under consideration, thank you.
|
The following is an excerpt from my book. Warning - you must be 18 or older to continue reading.
Content is sexually explicit!
He saw that she was flushed and smiled. He went to her and she wouldn't look up. He put one arm around her waist and with his free hand he gently lifted her face and looked into her eyes. They betrayed what she was feeling. He moved closer, "What's wrong?" he asked quietly. "Nothing, I just got warm" she replied. His lips moved closer to hers. He brushed her lips lightly, gently with his own. She began to tremble slightly in anticipation. "You're trembling" he whispered, teasing her lips as he spoke. "Yes" she whispered back. Her lips slightly parted. Her breathing and pulse quickening. He was taking his time. Lightly brushing her lips with his own. When she thought she could endure no more he gently and firmly kissed her. She opened her mouth to him. His tongue sweetly exploring, tasting her and she responded. She was still trembling when he looked into her eyes, waiting to see what her reaction would be. She slid her left hand behind his neck and gently caressed his cheek with her right hand. Gently she teased his lower lip with her lips. She licked the lower part of his upper lip with her tongue then pressed her lips to his. She slid her tongue into his mouth exploring and tasting him. She had never felt quite like this before and she didn't want it to stop.
Adam had been with many women but she was different. She was so open in her response to him. There was no guile or hidden agenda with her. She asked nothing of him. There was a tenderness to her and a gentleness that was driving him wild. She could feel his excitement rising as hers was. His kiss became deeper and more passionate and she matched it with a passion of her own. Her body felt electrified. From somewhere deep within her a tension began to build. This was new to her. It took her totally by surprise and she clung to him as the orgasm over took her.
He felt her body shake and guessed what had happened. The look of surprise on her face told him all he needed to know. He held her to him kissing her, his hands began exploring her. He wanted to know her...he needed to know her...to pleasure her. He lifted her and carried her to the bedroom. He gently laid her on the bed and lay beside her kissing her softly. He nibbled on her ear then slowly moving down to her neck and throat, he felt her responding to him. She felt as if there were sparks shooting through her body. She had to force herself to lay still and she shook in anticipation. He removed her robe. His hands caressing the skin on her arms. He was taking his time, he wanted to make this last. He caressed her back as he held her to him and his lips moved to her shoulders. His hands moved to her breasts gently kneading them and teasing the nipples with his fingers. Kissing his way slowly down her chest he teased the nipple of one of her breasts with his tongue, causing a slight gasp to escape from her lips. He began to suck on the nipple causing her to moan. He was taking great delight in her response to him. By the time he was sucking the nipple on the other breast her breathing had become quicker. He reached between her legs looking for the spot he knew would bring her the greatest pleasure. From the sound of her moaning he knew that he had found it. She felt as if she was on fire. There was an inferno building inside of her and she was losing herself to it. He kept moving lower. The more pleasure she was having the more he was enjoying himself. He needed to experience all of her...touching her...kissing her...now he wanted to taste her. He moved down between her legs and his tongue explored her. Her hips began to move and her back arched. She was breathing hard and fast and moaning. Her body began to tense and suddenly he tasted her. The intensity of her orgasm had nearly brought tears to her eyes. It hadn't completely extinguished the inferno within her. Something was missing, she needed something more. He slowly began kissing his way up her body. He was a large man and he wanted to make sure he didn't cause her any pain. So slowly and carefully he began to enter her. She couldn't wait, she needed him inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and tilted her hips. She thrust herself upward onto him and gasped as she engulfed him. Her body tensed and she clung to him when her orgasm hit. A moan escaped his lips and he nearly lost control. He had to stay still for a moment. When he was able to move again she matched him thrust for thrust, starting slowly and before long becoming fiery and passionate. She gave herself up to him completely. She became lost in him. He was just as lost in her. The taste of her and the feel of her beneath him was making it difficult for him to maintain control. It wasn't long before her body started to shake intensely, "Ahhh, Yes, Adam, Ahhh!" she cried and exploded. He could hold back no longer. When she called his name he erupted inside her. They lay clutching each other, neither wanting to break the spell.
|
The Blog slut strikes again.
I whored this from Weasels in my Shorts
|
Update - I've posted a new poem to my poetry blog.
Just another Saturday night adventure. LOL What a night! Now, I have been hit on at the bar before, but never quite with the persistence of this drunken young man.
I'm sitting in my usual spot, listening to the music and chit chatting with a couple seated to my left, the stool on my right is empty. A cute somewhat inebriated young man comes over and asks:
"Is this seat taken?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Mind if I sit here"
Me: "No, go ahead"
I return to chit chatting, a few moments later I feel a tap on my arm.
Him: "So, are you married?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Good, I don't want to get beat up for talking to you."
I just shook my head and laughed.
Him: "So, you live here in the Harbor?"
Me: "No, Zion."
Him: "I live just across the street, you wanna come over and hang out?"
Me: "How old are you?"
Him: "24"
Me: "I am old enough to be your mother!"
Him: "I don't care."
Me: "I don't think so."
He gets up and walks away leaving me there shaking my head in wonder. What is it that happens to young men when they drink? I go back to listening to the music and more chit chat. A short time later, guess who comes back?
Him: "My names Justin, what's yours?"
He asks this just as Kathryn the bartender asks "Vicky you want another beer?"
Him: "What did she call you?"
Me: "Nikki"
(I wasn't going to tell him my real name)
Him: "So why don't you want to come home with me?"
Me: "I told you, I'm old enough to be your mother."
Him: "I don't care, you look good."
Me: "That's sweet, but no."
Again he gets up and walks away. I shake my head, drunks! I go back to what I was doing. A short time later, guess who comes back. He sits down next to me, and says nothing for a while.
Him: "mmmmm, You look good. What do you have against young guys?"
Me: "I don't have anything against young men."
Him: "Where are you going when you leave here?"
Me: "After I drop the bouncer off, I'm going home."
Him: "Then why won't you come home with me?"
Me: "I don't want to."
At this point he gets up, not happy and walks off. He has become like a gnat, harmless but irritating. I talk to Dave, the bouncer and let him know that the guy is pretty drunk, he will keep an eye on him. The bartenders have noticed his condition and have cut him off. I am chatting with Lisa, the owner when the gnat approaches yet again. He sits down next to me and looks down my shirt.
Him: "Damn, I'd like to hit that ass, come home with me."
Me: "Look, I have already told you no three times, are you learning impaired? Do you not understand what the word no means? Leave me alone."
He walks off, I am keeping an eye on him from this point on. It is crowded in the bar and eventually I loose sight of him. After about 30 minutes with no sight of him, I figure he has either left or found someone else to bother so I start to relax. I turn to chit chat with the couple on my left again when I sense someone on my right, the gnat is back.
Him: "So you don't want to fuck me?"
Me: "That's it. Get the fuck away from me!"
He goes. I look for Dave, he is busy with another matter and his back is to me. I tell Lisa, what is going on. I ask her to tell Dave to keep this gnat away from me, because if he comes near me again I will get violent. Dave ejects the gnat from the bar, then comes over to make sure that I'm alright. The rest of the night is spent having fun as usual. I hung around for a bit after closing talking with the owner and crew. Apparently, this is not the first time they have problems with the gnat, it was however the last straw. He is now banned permanently from the bar. I feel that I have done my part to make my favorite bar safer for single women.
Has an IQ of 2,
But it takes 3 to grunt
|
I found this over on Iridescent Darkness so, blog slut that I am...
Sorry, you're not a Toxic Squirrel.
You're a Vietnam-Veteran Hedgehog with a massive
personality disorder.
Which Toxic Squirrel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
Finally, the perfect description of ME!
|
Remember everyone - there is an open bar and all you can eat buffet here this weekend, help yourselves. We are open 24 hours.
I am the Imp of the Perverse Knowing this won't help you, either.
Signs you Have PMS
Everyone around you has an attitude problem.!
You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your Jeans
Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice
You're convinced there's a God and he's male
You're counting down the days until menopause
You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy
The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused You shoot him
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them and stick em to their shirts
4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest
5. You're on so much Estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendale's.
|
Last night was rather interesting. I was working on the synopsis for the book yesterday afternoon, I think I finally have it the way I want it. I decided to go for dinner around 4 or 4:30 p.m., I went to my favorite haunt - Harbor Lights (here on known as the Harbor). Yes, it's a bar and a restaurant. I had a beer, ate, proofread the synopsis, and then joined Lisa (the owner) and Kathryn (one of the other bartenders) up at the bar for another beer, chit chatted with them. Evil Lisa (another bartender and friend) showed up and more chit chat ensued. The next thing I know it's 8 p.m. I decide to leave and stop in at my next favorite place, The Pit, for I am nothing if not a social butterfly. I chit chatted with a bunch of people there, and I was on a roll, my wit was in good form, and I paid for only one beer the whole time I was there (I have many drink chips left to use for Saturday night). The Lisas showed up around 9:00 p.m. along with other friends and we were all having a good time. Around 12:30 a.m. I leave and stop in at the Hick (Hickory House), I am still on a roll, chit chatting away, more drink chips for my pocket. It is not until I arrive home at 2:00 a.m. that I discovered the secret to my success. It seems, that sometime during the evening, the first two buttons of my blouse had come undone and I had not noticed. Evidently the sight of my tits in my blue lacy bra and my tattoo was cause for celebration and free drinks, no one said a word to me about my blouse being undone. I shall have to have a word with some people that I know.
All weekend it's open bar and all you can eat buffet here! helps yourselves.
BTW - I am offering a cyber hug reward to anyone who can stop these little bastard squirrls from stealing my vodka!
|
Here is just some ramdon shit that I have been wondering about lately.
Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
On electric toasters why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner reach down pick it up examine it then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
Why is it when you're running late, every stop light enroute to your destination turns red, and traffic is a nightmare? Why when you're early and need to kill time, is every light green and there is no traffic?
|
Sage words from Older Women
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is? The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
|
It seems over at image hosting they are moving things around, hence, my pic is on holiday for the time being. Spring is in the air, the sun is shining, it is supposed to get to 69 degrees today, someone is stealing horse's tails in Wisconsin. Now this is not just random tail thievery, no, someone has taken bits of tail four times from the same horse's since January!!! The sheriff has his theory, me thinks someone has a vendetta against the owners. Your thoughts?
It seems that Michigan is having gang problems. Police are hunting for roaming band of menacing turkeys! Seems a band of marauding turkeys has shown up in Wisconsin but they appear to be coexisting peacefully with the humans there.
Calling all Vikings, no pillaging, burning, raping or bloodletting. Must be tourist friendly! Seems that the Norwegian's are looking for about 50 part-time Vikings.
Ok, maybe it's me, but I think we could greatly reduce the violence in our schools if the fucking teachers didn't go around beating the shit out of each other!
This just In - Archaeologist finds 'oldest porn statue'
Don't try to out weird me I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal
Don't you just love spring?
|
|
Update - 1:56 p.m. For those of you with a very sick sense of humor - like me. I bring you Lemming Gymnastics.
Today is a recovery day, had to much fun last night at the bar. Prior to going out I went over to visit with my cousin Keith. He introduced to me to a beer from Canada called XXX, yummy! He and his friends were going to Racine to see some band and wanted me to go, but as they were primarily going to pick-up women, I declined. I don't know Racine well and had no wish to try and find my way back on my own. I went to my usual haunt instead. It was packed last night. Two birthday parties going. I danced and had a great time. I'm paying for it now though, ah well, this too shall pass once the sinus tabs kick in. It is supposed to be sunny and in the 50's today, I shall have to get out and about this afternoon and enjoy the day.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application of high explosives.
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use
the bubbles are always white?
There is tea and I have cake, rolls, breads, jams, cookies, etc. for all today, a large variety. Help yourselves.
|
Memo: First you pillage, then you burn.
Those who do not comply will be suspended from the Raiding Team.
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
What a lovely morning, the birds are singing. Today is supposed to be in the upper 40's and sunny. Ahhh, spring, everything feels fresh, renewed. My neighbor has pots of beautiful flowers on her back deck. Shades of yellows, reds and purples greet me as I venture out. The grass is green once again, all traces of snow are gone.
I feel so good this morning and yes, I'm still smiling.
|
Update - I am in too good a mood to play any April fools jokes, and I really don't feel much like posting anything right now. I had a date with hot guy today. I had a perfectly wonderful day, and I can't seem to stop smiling.
|
OOhhhh my head. Too much party. There is an open buffet today, help yourselves. I have a date this afternoon. I must finish with the ritual of the bills. more later.
|
I whored this from Iridescent Darkness. The scary thing is, the fucking thing is pretty damn accurate about me.
| Your Birthdate: September 16 |
| Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone. You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent. You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate. You are introspective and a little stubborn. Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family. This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations. The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you. Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach. You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions. Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection. |
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:07 AM
At least it is a nice day for a drive and I had good tunes for the trip there and back.
Looks to be a busy day - I have added a guest map to my bloggie, please post a pin and leave a comment. It will make it easier for me to stalk you when I get some time, provided the weather is nice, and I'm in your area anyway, and you are doing something exciting enough to be stalk worthy...
I need to take Howard the car into the dealership, the breaks are making a metal on metal noise, they are not supposed to do that. I have owned Howard for less than two month, they will be fixing this - and they will be doing it for free - or they shall feel my wrath!
I need to reach my former landlord - paperwork for him to fill out for the apartment that I am applying for. Government subsidized housing - gotta jump through hoops in the paperwork mountain, then they will do a credit check, a criminal background check and an eviction check.
I have papers for Dr. Bubblehead to fill out in order to prove that I am disabled - like the fact that Social insecurity sends me a disability check every month isn't proof enough. Sheeesh!
To top it all of, the neighborhood sucks! Oh, it's a secure building, even the parking lot is monitored, nighttime security guards and everything - former cop that I know has informed me of gang activities in the area. Fuck! Still, I have to go where I can afford (my rent would be $261.00 a month plus electric) and most of these subsidized places are not in the best of areas. I will go to housing and apply for section 8 next week and see what kind of listing they have.
Tonight I am going to a friends and family night a Sabrina's hubby to be's new store, Gamer's Realm, which will open on May 3 in Antioch. It should be fun.
Well I best get my cute, lazy ass in gear here. I need to shower and shave my girly bits, I supposed that given the weather I should probably get dressed afterward. Then it's call the car dealership, go put gas in the car and air in the one front tire. Ahhh the pressures of day to day life in my boring little corner of the world.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:02 AM
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 3:44 PM
As reported earlier, there is a sect among the spider group that has metamorphic ability. We have since discovered that they, along with certain blood traitors, are now conducting cross-breeding experiments (as you will see by the photographic evidence retrieved by our agents).
Raids on known facilities have already been conducted and they have been destroyed. Several pregnant females have been removed to a secure medical facility. All further information has been classified.
If you have any information regarding the above mentioned activities, please let us know immediately.
(note - the photos below are actually from a French Aids awareness poster)
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:16 PM
Evidence of Cross-breeding
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:15 PM
Evidence of cross-breeding
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:15 PM
The most highly sexed beings upon the planet are the creators, the poets, sculptors, painters, musicians...and so it has been from the beginning. And among them sex is a beautiful and exalted gift. Sex is always beautiful, and it is always shy.
Kahlil Gibran
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:13 PM
Intelligence reports all quiet on the spider front for now.
BLOG PARTY - As usual open bar and buffet. Please wear your party clothes and bring your favorite music.
Warning - if you pair (or group) up in the comments section, you may find it as a post tomorrow, so make it explicit or get a room. lol.
The breakfast buffet is up and running. If there is anything special you would like just ask my sister Hildegard, she will see to it.
It is Tuesday, and we know what that means, off to the House of Torture! I really do need it. My legs are so stiff this morning. Too much battle followed by too much dancing and drinking over the weekend. I must remember to stretch before going into battle or before going out dancing.
I have to remind myself that I'm not 25 anymore.
I have caught up on my sleep and am starting to more alert, I was cruising around on about 2 hrs. of sleep Sunday and on not much more than that Monday. I Feel bright eyed this morning though.
Enjoy your breakfast, lunch or supper. There is coffee, tea, milk and juice.
The bar is open 24 hours - I've placed a replenishing spell on the bottles (sorry, it only works in blog land), so we won't run out.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 5:26 AM
Please help yourselves.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:08 PM
C. has finally returned from his harrowing mission with much in the way of intelligence. He has discovered that there is a sect among the spider group, that can take on the characteristics of the creatures they consume. This only applies to lower life forms, ie.. wasps, crickets, roaches...
The bodies of several of these have been discovered and our scientists are studying them.
This story has hit the headlines 'Exploding toads baffle German experts' we have discovered that the spiders and certain blood traitors are behind this.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:43 AM
There is a cyber reward of 25 huggs for anyone capturing Alan from Random Burblings alive.
We have...wait a minute, I have to go.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:57 AM
Wait, I just received word that the rest of the troops have now joined the advanced guard. I must leave you now, the attack on the nest is about to commence.
Spider war update - This will be a short and quick post, more to follow later.
Alan over at Random Burblings left the following comment in response to my last post: A very brief introduction into the History of the Spider Wars.
"Aha! So you have revealed your true identity, spider-slayer. Very foolish of you. Spider headquarters has been contacted with details of your location. Spider stormtroopers are moving into position as we speak for the final assault and anihilation."
Alan, I want to thank you for your assistance. Stormtroopers have arrived and the trap has been sprung. The battle ensues.
BTW - you are now considered a spy and traitor among the spider community. Bawhahahaaha.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:48 AM
I decided that it was time to give you, my dear friends, a very brief introduction into the history of the spider wars. The spider wars have been going on since the dawn of time.
They began even before the formation of our own planet, indeed before the formation of our own galaxy. These are not your every day house and garden spiders, for those are natural creatures, and I hold no animosity toward them (other than being freaked out in general by them).
These creatures are mutant demon spawn, not native to our own universe. They are intelligent and have good communication and organizational skills. I am not the first to battle them and am not currently the only warrior doing so. The war will continue until these mutants are eradicated and the quantum portal is sealed.
I did not choose to become an arachnid warrior, I was chosen. Twenty years ago, I was bitten by one of these evil spawn, marked, it took a piece of my thumb as a sign. Now, they seek me out and others like me. I have no choice but to do battle, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it is my calling.
Once I am settled into my new place, I will contact some of the others and go over the historical documents. I will then write the complete History of the Spider Wars. I will of course include how they came into being and how they entered into our universe. The epic battle sequences, the tragic losses of past warriors and the triumphs. Until I will keep you up to date as new battles take place.
The interrogation of my prisoner continues. It has yet to offer up much in the way of useful information, but tomorrow I am bringing in an expert. I am confident that we shall soon know the location of their local primary nest soon.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 5:11 PM
I have a prisioner! Let the torture begin! Bwahahahah.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:25 AM
Burnie
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:55 AM
Bob
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:55 AM
Ralph
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:54 AM
It's a beautiful Turdsday morning in Illinois, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, I just want to choke the shit out of someone, anyone! Grrrrrrrrr!
I need to drag my grumpy, broke, ass to the gas station and get smokes. I need nicotine!!!! Yes I have a quit date, not it is not today! Yes I have some of the patches already, just not all of them yet. (Patches, I do need those stinkin' patches!)
Alright, House of Torture day.
Major spider battle day - I am bringing in the heavy weapons. The shop vac comes in from the garage. I have scouted out the dungeon - I have found nests - they don't stand a chance against the 'Shop Vac of Doom'! I will show no mercy, I am hunting for their queen. I shall be victorious, for I am Xena, no, I am Broomhilda, Destroyer of spiders, and I am in full battle mode today!
Pack up the rest of the Halloween shit. Pack up the family history stuff. Shower, collapse.
That is the plan for the day - let us see how close to plan it actually goes.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:21 AM
Tomorrow, It's off to the House of Torture once again. When I return I shall finish packing the rest of the Halloween shit into totes, then bring in more boxes. I'll start packing up all of my family history binders and papers, a daunting task at best. Shower. Collapse.
Friday - no packing, I must get back to my spell work. Then it is time to continue work on my query letter.
Saturday - Clean the house and carpeting, laundry, shower, hopefully go out and decompress.
Sunday - Sleep late, find somewhere to go between the hours of 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. while the realtor has an open house here. Full Moon (Wind Moon) Lunar eclipse - 5:56 a.m. EST.
I don't even want to think about next week.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 3:48 PM
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: Corkey Emmaus (Name of first pet / Street where you live)
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: Chocolate Darrell (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather’s first name)
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: Scan Harbor Lights (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant)
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: Fennel France (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot)
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: Goober Round Lake Beach (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied)
6. “FLY GIRL/BOY” ALIAS: V. Dec (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)
7. ICON ALIAS: Chocolate Milk (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen)
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: Puppy Round Lake (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School)
9. BARFLY ALIAS: Potato Chip Vodka (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink)
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: Lynn Gabriel (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived)
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: Chocolate Ozbourne (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician)
12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Videc McCor ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother’s maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in for your last name)
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:37 AM
As I had predicted, the first wave was a night attack. I had a difficult night sleeping last night. It was hot in here and I was tossing and turning, fell off the couch. At 1:00 A.M. I got up, turned on the light, and my blood ran cold. There they were, not one, not two, but three of those demon spawn. I very nearly yelled (for though I do squeal on occasion, I am not a screamer), moving slowly and in stealth mode, I reached for my slipper. In a move so quick and sure that it would even impress Jackie Chan, I attacked my adversary. THWACK! Total annihilation of the first enemy. Still in stealth mode, I quickly descended upon the second, CRUNCH! It was no more. The third was moving rapidly across the coffee table, attempting an escape. BAM! An aerial assault, it never knew what hit it. I was triumphant! I am Xena Warrior Princess, defeator of spiders.
Second wave happened just a few minutes ago while I was out on the deck. I was enjoying a cup of coffee and a cigarette. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Four of the demon spawn creeping across the deck, heading my direction. I have to admit, my attack was not quite as elegant as the first. I was hopping around, stomping my feet, arms flailing about in a cross between 'Riverdance' and a vertical epileptic fit. Squealing once again like some piglet caught in a trap. Still, I was, once again triumphant.
I'm sure that any neighbors looking out either got a good laugh, or there will be a knock on the door any minute and the men with the nice white jacket that ties in the back will come to collect me.
Well I must get a move on here, there is to be an open house for realtors here today from 9 A.M. to 12:30 P.M. and I want to straighten up a bit. Then I have the House of Torture today as well.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:57 AM
Guess what I am going to have to pack up first? LMAO!
There is going to be a showing here tomorrow for realtors and an open house here on Sunday. i need to borrow my brothers carpet cleaner, I want to shampoo the rug in the living room and the one in the dining room. The hardwood floors are in good shape, so I just need to dust and damp mop them. General light cleaning.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:37 PM
Just cause I'm still in a shitty mood!
Shit happens in various people
George Bush: Read my lips, no new shit. But a thousand points of shit.
Saddam Hussein: This shit happening will be the mother of all shit
happenings.
Martin L. King: I have a shit...
John F. Kennedy: Ich bin ein Scheisser.
Vladimir Lenin: The fastest and most complete way to destroy a culture is
to make its shit happen.
Joseph McCarthy: Are you now, or have you ever been, a happening shit?
Richard Nixon: I am not a shit.
Ronald Reagan: I don't recall if shit happened.
Nancy Reagan: Just say, 'Shit happened.'
Socrates: I am shit. But I know I am shit.
Aristotle: Once a shit is stretched by an idea, it never again happens
in its original shape.
Galileo: They say shit isn't happening. Nevertheless it still happens
Blaise Pascal: We are just shit. But we are thinking shit.
R. Descartes: I shit therefore I am.
A. Einstein: God does not play shit.
W. Heisenberg: The more accurately we observe when shit happened, the less
accurately we observe how big the shit was that happened.
E. Schrodinger: There's a 50% chance that shit happened. And a 50% chance
that it didn't.
F. Nietzche: If shit had never happened, man would create shit.
Ayn Rand: Reason and shit are corollaries. Where reason is used, shit
happens.
Sturgeon: 90% of everything is shit.
Yuri Gagarin: Shit was blue.
Neil Armstrong: For me, that was just a little shit. But when that shit
happened, it was one giant leap for mankind.
Bart Simpson: I will not say, 'Shit happened' in the class.
Al Bundy: This is shit. This is shit when you get married and drop
the shit on the ground.
Bill Cosby: Shit is happening to _The Simpsons_.
Buckaroo Bonzai: No matter where shit happens, there you are.
HAL: Dave, I'm in deep shit.
Dr. Chandra, will I shit?
Dave: Oh my god! It's full of shit!
Obi Wan: Use your shit, Luke.
Marty Mcfly: Don't ever never call me shit.
Gremlins: Don't shit after 12 o'clock.
Jessica Rabbit: I'm not shit. I'm just drawn that way.
Robocop: Please stay out of deep shit.
Michael Valentine Smith: Shit groks.
1st Law of Robotics: Robots should not shit or let shit come to happen.
Hari Seldon: Each shit is random. But mob shit is predicable.
Yuppie: It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?
God: Wholly shit!
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 5:34 AM
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body
The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off
Honey, I'm home What's for dinn....AHHHHHHH !!!!!
Have you ever noticed how nothing is impossible for those who don't have to do it?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
If you shouldn't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" when they already know you don't have any money?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
Is there really a difference between whining and complaining about whining?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bed-ridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
12 percent of the U.S. population considers mental diseases to be a lifestyle choice. Sad but, I actually ran into one of 'those' people last night. He was sitting next to me at the bar as I was talking with a friend (who asked how my meds were working). This git, then proceeded to tell me that I didn't need medication that my problem was all in my mind. Duh! I told him it was all in my brain, and if he didn't shut up and keep his uninformed opinion to himself I'd show him exactly why I take medication. (I'm making my evil grin now)
And Now
Taoism
Shit Happens
If you can shit, it isn't shit.
Shit happens, so flow with it.
Shit is the highest good. When shit happens, it benefits all things
generously and is without strife.
If you can shit, it isn't shit.
Shit happens, so flow with it.
Shit is the highest good. When shit happens, it benefits all things
generously and is without strife.
Confucianism
Confucius say "Shit Happens"
Buddhism
If Shit Happens, it really is not Shit.
Zen
Shit only Happens when it does not Happen.
Shit is, and is not.
What is the sound of shit happening?
Shit is, and is not.
What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism
This Shit Happened before (and it will Happen again).
Islam
If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah.
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
If shit happens, blame Israel.
We don't take any shit.
If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
If shit happens, blame Israel.
We don't take any shit.
Sunni Islam
If it happens to be shit, it's Allah's will and you'd better submit!
Shiite happens.
Shi'ite Islam
WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
If shit happens, take a hostage.
Shiite happens.
Shi'ite Islam
WE WILL DESTROY YOUR SHIT!
If shit happens, take a hostage.
Nation of Islam
Don't take no shit!
Protestant
Let Shit Happen to someone else!
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!
If shit happens, praise the lord for it!
Catholic
If Shit Happens, you deserve it!
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.
Charismatic Catholic
Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.
Presbyterian
This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine
with it.
If shit happens, hold a procession.
It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine
with it.
If shit happens, hold a procession.
It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.
Methodist
It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice
with it.
with it.
Congregationalist and Unitarian
Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens
to another.
to another.
Lutheran
If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Have faith that shit will happen.
Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.
Have faith that shit will happen.
Fundamentalism
If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again(Amen!
Shit must be born again.
Shit must be born again.
Conservative Judaism
Why does Shit always happen to us?
Judaism
Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?
Reform Judaism
Got any laxatives?
Shit happens to whom it may concern.
Shit happens to whom it may concern.
Orthodox Judaism
So shit happens, already!
Atheism
Shit Happens for no apparent reason.
No shit.
What shit?
I can't believe this shit!
No shit.
What shit?
I can't believe this shit!
Agnostic
I think Shit Happens.
Maybe shit happens; then again, maybe not.
Did someone shit?
What is this shit?
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not
sure whether its shit or not.
Maybe shit happens; then again, maybe not.
Did someone shit?
What is this shit?
It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so I'm not
sure whether its shit or not.
Baptist
I believe Shit Happens! (Amen!)
You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
We'll wash the shit right off you.
You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
We'll wash the shit right off you.
Southern Baptist
Shit will happen. Praise the lord!
Shi'ite Baptist
Shit will happen, but only the way we say it will happen and if it
doesn't happen we will make it happen because that's God's
will and we know it...
doesn't happen we will make it happen because that's God's
will and we know it...
Calvinism
Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism
No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism
God made all shit.
Televangelism
Send more shit.
If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...
If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop happening...
Amish
Shit is good for the soil.
This modern shit is worthless.
This modern shit is worthless.
Secular Humanism
Shit evolves.
Christian Science
When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray.
Shit happening is all in your mind.
Shit happening is all in your mind.
Quakers
Let us not fight over this shit.
Unitarianism
Come let us reason together about this shit.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
Utopianism
This shit does not stink at all.
Darwinism
This shit was once food.
Survival of the shittiest.
Survival of the shittiest.
Capitalism
That's my shit.
Communism
Let's share this shit.
Feminism
Men are shit.
This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!
This shit happened before, and WE won't clean it up!
Chauvinism
We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism
Let's package this shit.
Impressionism
From a distance, this shit looks like a garden.
Idolism
Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism
Shit doesn't happen, shit IS.
What is shit, anyway?
What is shit, anyway?
Stocism
This shit doesn't bother me.
Hedonism
There's nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormons
If shit happens, the Church gets 10%
God sent us this shit.
This shit is going to happen again.
Hey, there's more shit over here!
God sent us this shit.
This shit is going to happen again.
Hey, there's more shit over here!
Scientology
If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p. 157.
Feces occurs.
Feces occurs.
Jehovah's Witness
Let us in and we will tell you why Shit Happens.
May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall
survive its happening.
Knock, knock. Shit happens.
No shit happens until Armageddon.
There is only a limited amount of good shit.
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Shit happens door to door.
Open the door and I'll show you what shit is.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall
survive its happening.
Knock, knock. Shit happens.
No shit happens until Armageddon.
There is only a limited amount of good shit.
Here, we insist you take our shit.
Shit happens door to door.
Open the door and I'll show you what shit is.
Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
Hare Krishna
ShitHappensShitHappensShitHappens...
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it...
(Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.
Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it...
(Repeat until you become one with she-it)
Please this flower and buy our shit.
Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit.
Paganism
If you send shit out into the world, it will return to you threefold.
Stoics
This shit doesn't bother me.
Moon-ism
Only really happy shit happens.
Zoroastrianism
Shit happens half of the time.
Practical
Deal with shit one day at a time.
Satanism
SNEPPAH TIHS.
Nihilism
No shit.
New Age
This shit has an aura.
This shit is all ONE shit.
Shit came to me in a vision...
That's not shit, it's feldspar.
A firm shit does not happen to me.
This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honour it and share it.
Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
Were all part of the same shit.
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.
This shit is all ONE shit.
Shit came to me in a vision...
That's not shit, it's feldspar.
A firm shit does not happen to me.
This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
I create my own shit.
If shit happens, honour it and share it.
Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
Were all part of the same shit.
For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.
Astrology
If shit happens, blame Saturn.
Shit is written in the stars.
Shit is written in the stars.
Wiccan
An it harm none, let shit happen.
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
The Goddess makes shit happen.
If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
The Goddess makes shit happen.
Bloggers
If shit happens, blog it!
(submitted by Kevin at Darkest Before Dawn)
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:21 AM
Warning to all men
DATE RAPE DANGER TO MEN
Police to warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars to be more alert and cautious when offered a drink by girls. There is a date rape drug going around called "beer" and it is generally in liquid form.
The drug is now being used by female sexual predators to convince their male victims to have sex with them. All girls have to do is persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and simply ask the guy home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks. After several "beers" men will often succumb to requests to perform sex acts on horrific looking women who they would never normally be attracted to.
Men often awaken after being given "beer" with only hazy memories of exactly what has happened to them the night before, just a vague feeling that something bad occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men might be stung in a familiar scam know as "a relationship" - apparently men are easy targets for this scam after the "beer" has been administered and they have already been sexually attacked.
PLEASE forward this to every male you know ..........However, if you fall victim to this insidious drug and the predatorywomen administering it, there are male support groups with venues inevery town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with a bunch of similarly-affected, like-minded guys.
For the nearest support group near you just look up 'Public House' in the yellow pages. And remember ..... be careful out there.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:55 PM
A Pagan In Heaven
She stared at St. Peter in complete confusion. "Wait a minute," she said. "I was supposed to end up in the Summerlands."
He smiled. "Ah, you must be one of our Pagan sisters. Follow me, please."
Peter gestured for her to follow him down a small path which went through the gates and down a bit to the left. They walked for a short while, then he stepped back and gestured her forward. Looking past his hand, she saw the verdant fields and forests of her desired Summerlands. She saw people feasting, dancing, and making merry, exactly as she expected.
While shaking her head in wonder, the Pagan happened to glance over to one side and saw a small group of people a short way away from the edge of the Summerlands. The people in the group were watching the revelers, but not joining them. Instead, they were screaming and weeping piteously. The Pagan looked at St. Peter. "Who are those people? St. Peter replied,
"Them? They're Fundamentalists. They're a bit surprised to see you all there, so they stand there and carry on like that all day."
"Why? Don't they have better things to do?"
Peter leaned conspiratorially toward her. "They don't really have a choice. They're actually in Hell. God doesn't like being told what He thinks."
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 5:24 AM
Found this thanks to H. R. M. Queen of the Universe it just cracked me up.
I have such mixed emotions about selling the house - I love my house and find myself crying at the oddest moments about selling it.
On the other hand - it means, finally getting out on my own, freedom! I'll be living in a shoebox, but I will have my emotional freedom from the ex. - a good thing.
I'm re-reading 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran, I find that this book gives me the calm or should I say the stillness that I find comforting right now. The odd thing is is that I like to read it while listening to heavy metal music, for some reason the mix of the two seem to work for me. I am such a paradox at times. lol.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:23 AM
Thank you to all of you who left comment on my post from yesterday! And to those of you who offered advise and constructive criticism, It was much appreciated and I shall take all of it under consideration, thank you.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:03 PM
Content is sexually explicit!
He saw that she was flushed and smiled. He went to her and she wouldn't look up. He put one arm around her waist and with his free hand he gently lifted her face and looked into her eyes. They betrayed what she was feeling. He moved closer, "What's wrong?" he asked quietly. "Nothing, I just got warm" she replied. His lips moved closer to hers. He brushed her lips lightly, gently with his own. She began to tremble slightly in anticipation. "You're trembling" he whispered, teasing her lips as he spoke. "Yes" she whispered back. Her lips slightly parted. Her breathing and pulse quickening. He was taking his time. Lightly brushing her lips with his own. When she thought she could endure no more he gently and firmly kissed her. She opened her mouth to him. His tongue sweetly exploring, tasting her and she responded. She was still trembling when he looked into her eyes, waiting to see what her reaction would be. She slid her left hand behind his neck and gently caressed his cheek with her right hand. Gently she teased his lower lip with her lips. She licked the lower part of his upper lip with her tongue then pressed her lips to his. She slid her tongue into his mouth exploring and tasting him. She had never felt quite like this before and she didn't want it to stop.
Adam had been with many women but she was different. She was so open in her response to him. There was no guile or hidden agenda with her. She asked nothing of him. There was a tenderness to her and a gentleness that was driving him wild. She could feel his excitement rising as hers was. His kiss became deeper and more passionate and she matched it with a passion of her own. Her body felt electrified. From somewhere deep within her a tension began to build. This was new to her. It took her totally by surprise and she clung to him as the orgasm over took her.
He felt her body shake and guessed what had happened. The look of surprise on her face told him all he needed to know. He held her to him kissing her, his hands began exploring her. He wanted to know her...he needed to know her...to pleasure her. He lifted her and carried her to the bedroom. He gently laid her on the bed and lay beside her kissing her softly. He nibbled on her ear then slowly moving down to her neck and throat, he felt her responding to him. She felt as if there were sparks shooting through her body. She had to force herself to lay still and she shook in anticipation. He removed her robe. His hands caressing the skin on her arms. He was taking his time, he wanted to make this last. He caressed her back as he held her to him and his lips moved to her shoulders. His hands moved to her breasts gently kneading them and teasing the nipples with his fingers. Kissing his way slowly down her chest he teased the nipple of one of her breasts with his tongue, causing a slight gasp to escape from her lips. He began to suck on the nipple causing her to moan. He was taking great delight in her response to him. By the time he was sucking the nipple on the other breast her breathing had become quicker. He reached between her legs looking for the spot he knew would bring her the greatest pleasure. From the sound of her moaning he knew that he had found it. She felt as if she was on fire. There was an inferno building inside of her and she was losing herself to it. He kept moving lower. The more pleasure she was having the more he was enjoying himself. He needed to experience all of her...touching her...kissing her...now he wanted to taste her. He moved down between her legs and his tongue explored her. Her hips began to move and her back arched. She was breathing hard and fast and moaning. Her body began to tense and suddenly he tasted her. The intensity of her orgasm had nearly brought tears to her eyes. It hadn't completely extinguished the inferno within her. Something was missing, she needed something more. He slowly began kissing his way up her body. He was a large man and he wanted to make sure he didn't cause her any pain. So slowly and carefully he began to enter her. She couldn't wait, she needed him inside her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and tilted her hips. She thrust herself upward onto him and gasped as she engulfed him. Her body tensed and she clung to him when her orgasm hit. A moan escaped his lips and he nearly lost control. He had to stay still for a moment. When he was able to move again she matched him thrust for thrust, starting slowly and before long becoming fiery and passionate. She gave herself up to him completely. She became lost in him. He was just as lost in her. The taste of her and the feel of her beneath him was making it difficult for him to maintain control. It wasn't long before her body started to shake intensely, "Ahhh, Yes, Adam, Ahhh!" she cried and exploded. He could hold back no longer. When she called his name he erupted inside her. They lay clutching each other, neither wanting to break the spell.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 4:54 AM
The Blog slut strikes again.
I whored this from Weasels in my Shorts
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:40 AM
Just another Saturday night adventure. LOL What a night! Now, I have been hit on at the bar before, but never quite with the persistence of this drunken young man.
I'm sitting in my usual spot, listening to the music and chit chatting with a couple seated to my left, the stool on my right is empty. A cute somewhat inebriated young man comes over and asks:
"Is this seat taken?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Mind if I sit here"
Me: "No, go ahead"
I return to chit chatting, a few moments later I feel a tap on my arm.
Him: "So, are you married?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Good, I don't want to get beat up for talking to you."
I just shook my head and laughed.
Him: "So, you live here in the Harbor?"
Me: "No, Zion."
Him: "I live just across the street, you wanna come over and hang out?"
Me: "How old are you?"
Him: "24"
Me: "I am old enough to be your mother!"
Him: "I don't care."
Me: "I don't think so."
He gets up and walks away leaving me there shaking my head in wonder. What is it that happens to young men when they drink? I go back to listening to the music and more chit chat. A short time later, guess who comes back?
Him: "My names Justin, what's yours?"
He asks this just as Kathryn the bartender asks "Vicky you want another beer?"
Him: "What did she call you?"
Me: "Nikki"
(I wasn't going to tell him my real name)
Him: "So why don't you want to come home with me?"
Me: "I told you, I'm old enough to be your mother."
Him: "I don't care, you look good."
Me: "That's sweet, but no."
Again he gets up and walks away. I shake my head, drunks! I go back to what I was doing. A short time later, guess who comes back. He sits down next to me, and says nothing for a while.
Him: "mmmmm, You look good. What do you have against young guys?"
Me: "I don't have anything against young men."
Him: "Where are you going when you leave here?"
Me: "After I drop the bouncer off, I'm going home."
Him: "Then why won't you come home with me?"
Me: "I don't want to."
At this point he gets up, not happy and walks off. He has become like a gnat, harmless but irritating. I talk to Dave, the bouncer and let him know that the guy is pretty drunk, he will keep an eye on him. The bartenders have noticed his condition and have cut him off. I am chatting with Lisa, the owner when the gnat approaches yet again. He sits down next to me and looks down my shirt.
Him: "Damn, I'd like to hit that ass, come home with me."
Me: "Look, I have already told you no three times, are you learning impaired? Do you not understand what the word no means? Leave me alone."
He walks off, I am keeping an eye on him from this point on. It is crowded in the bar and eventually I loose sight of him. After about 30 minutes with no sight of him, I figure he has either left or found someone else to bother so I start to relax. I turn to chit chat with the couple on my left again when I sense someone on my right, the gnat is back.
Him: "So you don't want to fuck me?"
Me: "That's it. Get the fuck away from me!"
He goes. I look for Dave, he is busy with another matter and his back is to me. I tell Lisa, what is going on. I ask her to tell Dave to keep this gnat away from me, because if he comes near me again I will get violent. Dave ejects the gnat from the bar, then comes over to make sure that I'm alright. The rest of the night is spent having fun as usual. I hung around for a bit after closing talking with the owner and crew. Apparently, this is not the first time they have problems with the gnat, it was however the last straw. He is now banned permanently from the bar. I feel that I have done my part to make my favorite bar safer for single women.
Has an IQ of 2,
But it takes 3 to grunt
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:51 PM
Sorry, you're not a Toxic Squirrel.
You're a Vietnam-Veteran Hedgehog with a massive
personality disorder.
Which Toxic Squirrel Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:47 AM
Finally, the perfect description of ME!
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:27 AM
I am the Imp of the Perverse Knowing this won't help you, either.
Signs you Have PMS
Everyone around you has an attitude problem.!
You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet
The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your Jeans
Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say
Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice
You're convinced there's a God and he's male
You're counting down the days until menopause
You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy
The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused You shoot him
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them and stick em to their shirts
4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest
5. You're on so much Estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendale's.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:06 AM
All weekend it's open bar and all you can eat buffet here! helps yourselves.
BTW - I am offering a cyber hug reward to anyone who can stop these little bastard squirrls from stealing my vodka!
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:54 AM
Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
On electric toasters why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move the wrong way?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner reach down pick it up examine it then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
Why is it when you're running late, every stop light enroute to your destination turns red, and traffic is a nightmare? Why when you're early and need to kill time, is every light green and there is no traffic?
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:06 PM
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria's Secret is? The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:53 AM
It seems that Michigan is having gang problems. Police are hunting for roaming band of menacing turkeys! Seems a band of marauding turkeys has shown up in Wisconsin but they appear to be coexisting peacefully with the humans there.
Calling all Vikings, no pillaging, burning, raping or bloodletting. Must be tourist friendly! Seems that the Norwegian's are looking for about 50 part-time Vikings.
Ok, maybe it's me, but I think we could greatly reduce the violence in our schools if the fucking teachers didn't go around beating the shit out of each other!
This just In - Archaeologist finds 'oldest porn statue'
Don't try to out weird me I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal
Don't you just love spring?
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:41 AM
- Renewal:: Regenerate
- Someone to talk to:: Friend
- Count:: Dracula
- Expiration:: date
- Upload:: picture
- Publish:: my book
- Holy:: shit
- Change in the air:: something wicked this way comes
- Titillating:: exciting
- Glorious:: ME
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.. Albert Einstein
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 1:36 PM
Today is a recovery day, had to much fun last night at the bar. Prior to going out I went over to visit with my cousin Keith. He introduced to me to a beer from Canada called XXX, yummy! He and his friends were going to Racine to see some band and wanted me to go, but as they were primarily going to pick-up women, I declined. I don't know Racine well and had no wish to try and find my way back on my own. I went to my usual haunt instead. It was packed last night. Two birthday parties going. I danced and had a great time. I'm paying for it now though, ah well, this too shall pass once the sinus tabs kick in. It is supposed to be sunny and in the 50's today, I shall have to get out and about this afternoon and enjoy the day.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application of high explosives.
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use
the bubbles are always white?
There is tea and I have cake, rolls, breads, jams, cookies, etc. for all today, a large variety. Help yourselves.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:46 AM
Those who do not comply will be suspended from the Raiding Team.
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
What a lovely morning, the birds are singing. Today is supposed to be in the upper 40's and sunny. Ahhh, spring, everything feels fresh, renewed. My neighbor has pots of beautiful flowers on her back deck. Shades of yellows, reds and purples greet me as I venture out. The grass is green once again, all traces of snow are gone.
I feel so good this morning and yes, I'm still smiling.
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 5:01 AM
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 5:40 PM
Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:01 AM
About Me
It's OK to laugh during sex - just don't point!
Name: Broomhilda
Age: 49
About Me: Living in oncomming traffic and staggering my way through life.
Interests Writing, Watching movies, Listening to music, SHOES, Ren. Faire
Favorite Colors: Red and Purple
Favorite Band: Aerosmith
Favorite Music: Just about everything except rap. I just don't get rap.
Favorite Actors: Alan Rickman and Gary Oldman
Favorite Movies: Citizen X, Bram Stokers Dracula, Like Water for Chocolate, Amelie, Sense and Sensibility, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Whale Rider, Just about anything with Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman or Johnny Depp and many many more
Favorite Books: Anything Edgar Allan Poe, Mythology esp. Celtic, Earth's Children series, Harry Potter series, and too many more to list.
Religon: Wiccan/Pagan
Currently: Going mad.
EMail me at wiccavic2002@yahoo.com
Links
-
Disclaimer
The Clothesline Project - Help break the silence of domestic violence
MY POETRY BLOG
My Wish List
The Music of the Jackmans
Curtiss Lowe & The Reverb Kings (Dem some good blues)
Alternative Religions Education Network
WitchVox
I Am A Witch
God Checker Your Guide To The Gods, Mythology With a Twist
Democratic Underground
Malicious Bitch - For Women Who Just Ain't Gonna Take It No More
The Huffington Post
Gamer's Realm
Blogs I Like
Blogroll Me!
Rate Me on BlogHop.com!
help?
moon phases |
`
