Thursday, February 17, 2005

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. I have run face first into my biggest fear - abandonment. I feel abandoned by my family, and I am pissed off!

I have always believed that family should take care of one another and we always have until now. There are just the three of us left, our parents are long gone and our last grandparent left us last year. Well, my buttmuchin asshat family can kiss my ass goodbye for the time being. No more helping them out with anything for a long while.

I am sick to death of the snide remarks and comments. Yes, I am bi-polar. Yes, I do take medication. No, it is not the medication that caused my decision. No, I am not depressed. No, I am not manic. No, it is not the menopause. No, I don't need to go into the hospital. They ask the same thing when I get pissed off about anything. I am not allowed to have feelings because I have a 'mental illness'. It must be the bi-polar. They use it as a weapon against me. I know it sounds a bit paranoid, but it is true.

It stops now. My Doctor is happy with the way the meds work for me (last hospitalization 1995), I'm happy with them. My moods are more level now than they have ever been, suprising given the stress level lately. Ok, rant is over now.

I start going to the gym next week. Warm weather will be upon us soon and I want to look good. The weight loss is progressing, time to tone everything up. The Bristol Renaissance Faire opens up in July, Ohhhhhh, men in kilts!!!!! Vikings!!!!! Knights!!!!! Can you say yummy!!!!!! I still haven't tried on any of my bodices yet, I'll get to it eventually. I have a lot of clothes to try on, I don't know what fits anymore. I have a feeling I will be getting rid of a lot that's now too big.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 12:32 PM

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