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Menopausal Bi-Polar Witch Babbling

Monday, January 31, 2005

Saturday the walls came tumbling down. I told hubby, or more accurately, my partner of 12 and 1/2 years that our relationship is over. The hardest decision that I have ever had to make, and I feel like such a shit for hurting him. But I know that staying and pretending that I still love him and that all is well would hurt us both even more. I haven't moved out yet as I am not sure where I am going to go. We can't sell the house until June or face a stiff early pay-off penalty on the mortgage. I still spend half my time crying and scared to death. I think, now what do I do? Where do I go from here? The other half of the time I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. And I know that I will be ok no matter what. I am adrift in a sea of possibility, surrounded by despair, potential, joy, loneliness, redemption, courage, fear, weakness, strength.....

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:38 AM

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Sunday, January 30, 2005

  1. Coroner:: medical examiner
  2. Mystify:: your mind
  3. Corroborate:: the story
  4. Misinterpret:: the evidence
  5. Humorless:: no sense of haha
  6. Calculus:: yuck
  7. Eye for an eye:: revenge
  8. CPR:: everyone should learn this
  9. Stitched:: repaired
  10. Facility:: staff


Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:08 AM

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Saturday, January 29, 2005

I am going through a change, and not just the change of life. Although it may be related. I have lost myself somewhere along the line. I used to be fun, I used to have fun. I used to have a life. I used to have passion and not just between the sheets. It seems that I have been in a walking coma for a decade. I am suffocating and am not quite sure what to do about it. I am beginning to make some small changes but I know that these are not going to be enough. I am losing weight, I just quit smoking, I started exercising. Thursday I go to get the gray colored away. I desperately need new teeth, however I can't afford them. I have decided that I am going to get them anyway, I don't care what I have to hock to do it. I need to get my life back. No more stagnation. The book was just the beginning. I am determined to write and to succeed. I will find the person that I lost, and I am scared to death.


The Path
An overgrown pathway in a wooded glen,
I follow it.
Through brambles and thorns a clearing appears,
I enter it.
A weather worn stone standing in the wind,
I go to it.
A plot overgrown with weeds and decay,
I sit near it.
Why a sentinel in this forgotten place,
I ask of it.
The sun beating down I close my eyes,
I dream of it.
Of life and love of death and rebirth,
I learn of it.
All are connected through the light of life,
I finally get it.
I found this path I was meant to take,
I'll walk upon it.
I will learn the lessons it has to teach,
I'll treasure it.
When I come to the end and journey home,
I will remember it.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:35 AM

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Friday, January 28, 2005

Its a boy!!!! My niece gave birth last night at 6:50 p.m. CST. 7 lbs. 6 oz. 19 in. I am on my way to see them now. More later.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:09 AM

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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

You scored as Albus Dumbledore. Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

Hermione Granger

65%

Harry Potter

65%

Albus Dumbledore

65%

Ron Weasley

60%

Severus Snape

60%

Remus Lupin

60%

Sirius Black

60%

Ginny Weasley

60%

Draco Malfoy

50%

Lord Voldemort

45%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:30 AM

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Monday, January 24, 2005

Busy day today. I have errands to run. First drive out to Antioch and go to the bank. Then I think I shall treat myself to brunch. Next stop, Walmart. I need printer paper, red pens and an assortment of other stuff. Then back home to work on version two of the book (which I have to say is coming along quite nicely. Big pat on the back to myself.) I still have a synopsis to write, I need to find an agent and compose an inquiry letter, finish the book, proof read, etc.... And I do not expect to be published. I will however, publish it on the internet after the appropriate period of mourning. Coven has circle tonight, yeah! I look forward to circle, good friends, energies melding, usually food. I generally feel recharged afterward.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:25 AM

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Sunday, January 23, 2005

Unconscious mutterings
  1. Material world:: And I'm not quite a material girl
  2. Satin sheets:: Ooooohhhhh
  3. Blizzard:: of OZ
  4. Real estate:: costly
  5. Dress up:: Play
  6. Wesley:: Crusher
  7. Robber:: Masked
  8. Saliva:: Slobber
  9. Slave:: Love
  10. Shift:: Stick


These are some receint hits I"ve gotten

reflex bubble wrap insulation - Huh?
antioch bitches kenosha - Bring it on
oil "teak salad bowl" - ?
bi polar diets - WTF? Is this for yoyo dieters, those living part of the year at the north and part of the year at the south poles or for those who go on an eating frenzy and are then depressed about it?

Earthy gets way better hits than this. Maybe I should start talking about handcuffs and whips and leather panties. Or nipple creams or vibrators, oh my.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:13 AM

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Saturday, January 22, 2005

From the Random House Webster's College Dictionary

snow (snō) n., v., snowed, snow·ing. -n. 1. a. precipitation in the form of hexagonal crystal crystals of ice, usu. Grouped together as snowflakes, formed directly from water vapor freezing in the air. b. these flakes as forming a layer on the ground. c. the fall of these flakes or a storm during which they fall. 2. something resembling a layer of these flakes in whiteness, softness, or the like. 3. Literary. a. white blossoms. b. the white color of snow. 4. Slang. Cocaine or heroin. 5. white spots or bands on a television screen caused by a weak signal. -v.i. 6. (of snow) to fall: It snowed heavily last night. 7. to descend like snow. -v.t. 8. to let fall as or like snow. 9. to cover, obstruct, confine, etc., with or as if with snow: The town was snowed in by the storm. 10. Slang. to persuade or deceive by insincere talk of flattery. 11. snow under, a. to cover with of bury in snow. b. to overwhelm. c. to defeat overwhelmingly.

From Me

Its a fucking mess. It is already up to my knees and it is still snowing. Granted, I am short. 5 foot 3.5 inches in my stocking feet, but that is still a lot of snow. It's a good thing I still have a lot of writing to keep me busy. I wonder how many days I'll be stuck in the house this time. Who knows when the city will plow the alleyway allowing me to get my car out of the driveway.
This is good Calvin and Hobs
They just announced that Wadsworth officially measures in at 9 inches of snow. That is just down the road from here. Now I wouldn't mind 9 inches, but not fucking snow!

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:57 AM

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Friday, January 21, 2005

I sit here, still in my jammies, no incentive to get dressed. I looked out the window, a vast expanse of white. A few fluffy flakes floating down. We are under a winter storm advisory. More of the white stuff on the way for the Chicago area. The heaviest accumulation along the Illinois - Wisconsin border (gasp - us) especially for those closest to Lake Michigan (double gasp - us again).

The book is progressing. My heroine has been kidnapped. Her psychotic kidnapper is using psychological torture in the form of sleep deprivation and mind games on her. The hero is working with Scotland Yard in a desperate attempt to find her. I have expanded this section, focusing on how psycho is breaking her down and how she is attempting to resist. She does get beaten up pretty good but puts up one hell of a fight, she is no Xena though. She is just a small (5'3") fiery American in her mid forties. Who thanks to keeping her self physically fit, at least inflicts some damage.

I have a good handle on her physical recovery. Her psychological recovery will be trickier. She is strong and I don't want her to become wimpy. I also don't want to drag it out too long. I just don't want to trivialize it either.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:59 AM

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Thursday, January 20, 2005

I am so sick of fucking snow. It snowed last night. It is snowing now, they are expecting 1 - 3 inches of it today. Tomorrow calls for 4 - 6 inches of the shit. Saturday calls for more. Time to slap the crap out of Suzy and her sisters again. Whine, Whine, Pout, Pout. Ok. Pity party is officially over.

The re-write on the book is coming along. I am liking the way it is going. It seems to be flowing out of me. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I do not know. It just is. I am just going with the flow and will see where the journey takes me.

I have been up since 1:30 a.m. central time U.S. working off and on. In between I took a little nap on the sofa. My hours are getting a bit screwy but the middle of the night is nice and quiet. It makes it easier to access my very vivid imagination. Earthy will be happy when she reads this revision and finds that I have added even more sex scenes. It couldn't be helped. They are appropriate to the story. Hey, I write Erotic Romance folks. Can you say yummy!

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:38 AM

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Wednesday, January 19, 2005

I finished my book a few days ago. I could leave it as is - a short erotic romance. I however, am not happy with it. I am now doing a major re-write. I am sure other writers out there know what I'm talking about. As a first time author, I don't expect to pen the great American romance. Hell, I don't expect to get published, It doesn't matter. I am compelled to write...to express my self...to release the passion so long bottled up inside before my head explodes. The muse has me by the throat and will not release me. If I never publish a page I will continue to put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard as it were. I have great hopes that I will once again be able to write my poetry. I have been blocked for far to long. Ah, the thoughts that swirl within my head and dreams I have yet to write about.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:44 AM

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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

  1. Yoda:: Ba boda banana fana ba boda
  2. Mensa:: why!
  3. Pink:: do-me shoes
  4. Text message:: I prefer pictures
  5. Galactic:: empire
  6. Chicks:: dixie
  7. Quesadilla:: chicken and cheese
  8. Backpack:: torture device
  9. Socket:: "I'll fly this rocket up your"
  10. Compromise:: ing positions


Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 2:17 PM

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Monday, January 17, 2005

A big congratulations to Kim at Bacon and Eh's for winning Most humorous and Best Non-Political Blog in the 2004 Canadian Blog Awards. She really deserves it.
I decided to brave the mall yesterday. I went to Gurnee Mills to use the gift card that I received for Christmas. Can you say - SHOPPING!!! This is what I got.
1 - A beautiful black car length lambskin leather coat from Wilsons leather (reg $400 for $150)
2 - An IC Recorder which will come in handy now that I have decided to write. No tapes to worry about ($50)
3 - Pink pumps (do-me shoes) (reg $50 for $19)
4 - Pink boots (also do-me) (reg 75 for 30)
5 - A whole day to myself - Priceless

I am not normally a pink girl, but I LOVE these shoes and boots. All and all, even though the mall was packed, I had a really nice day.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:43 AM

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Sunday, January 16, 2005


Serenity Calls

Trees in pristine glow
White flakes covering darkness
The world seeming cleansed
Serenity of the woodlands calls
I make my way cross frozen streams
To the safety of the Fey.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:25 AM

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Saturday, January 15, 2005

I finished my cleaning. Sabrina and her honey came over and we worked on their wedding ceremony. Then I worked on my book some more. I'm not sure if it is a romance or erotica. Earthy calls it geriatric porn because my hero and heroine are middle aged. It is just under 30,000 words. I am not sure where I want to go with it. I could actually end where I am and just make it a short story or I could add a bit more drama and expand it. I don't know yet.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 6:32 PM

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Friday, January 14, 2005


Creation

In the darkness of the void
A single point of light.
In emptiness alone
Filled with love
The One.

In longing split
Two halves of a whole.
Their dance a vortex created,
Conception in consummated love
The Two.

In pain and joy birth waters erupt
Swirling energies beget life.
Suns, Moons, Earth and Sky,
Galaxies born this night.
The Many.

In ecstasy of creation they dance
Their children populate.
Stories and songs will praise
as we become
The All.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:43 AM

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Thursday, January 13, 2005

As you can see I have decided to change the skin. I got bored with the other one. I will eventually figure out how to center the title and tinker around with this one a bit.
I need to get off my ass and clean but I feel so lazy today. Sabrina and her honey are coming over on Saturday to go over their wedding ceremony. It will give me time to personalize it and make any changes they want before the wedding in October. I also like to be well rehearsed before I get up there to perform a ceremony, especially when it is for a friend.
Although...she does bust my chops about my favorite actor, Alan Rickman, quite a bit. I happen to think he is quite handsome and sexy (shut up Sabrina - I hear you - ewww Snape).
Speaking of Snape, I think that characters attitude could be much improved by some quality detention time with the right woman. I am quite sure however, that shampoo and leather straps would be involved at certain points in the process.
I am stalling, I need to get dressed, start the laundry and clean. Then off to the store. I must make sure that there is a sufficient supply of Pepsi in the house. I want to make sure that a certain pepsiholic I know feels welcome here.

Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:52 AM

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Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Two posts in one day, can you believe it. I whored this from earthy


I am nerdier than 6% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!


Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:57 AM

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Whored from Spellbound

Lightning
Lightning


?? Which Natural Wonder Or Disaster Are You ??
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Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:13 AM

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Tuesday, January 11, 2005

  • Pistol:: Packin mama
  • Rick:: James
  • Full circle:: I've come
  • I wish:: I were an osacr mayer weiner
  • Frame:: picture
  • Adult:: film
  • Photography:: hobby
  • Stew:: meat
  • Cheat:: test
  • Brad:: without Jen

    1. Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 8:26 AM

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      Friday, January 07, 2005

      I can't tell for sure, but from the window it looks like they finally plowed the alley. If so, I might actually be able to get the car out of the driveway today. I need to buy food. All I have in the house is bread, eggs and some soup. Mega grocery shopping trip needed.
      Hubby did a good job shoveling yesterday. Poor thing will need to go out an shovel out the end of the drive today. I need to get out. I can't stay in the house one more day or I will start throwing things. Thank the Goddess we have our LRP coffee on Saturday. I need interaction with someone other than hubby. We are together way to much, nearly 24 hours a day 7 days a week. It is enough to make one insane. Sometimes I look at him and I think, he's so sweet. And others I just want to smash heavy objects upside his head. The later is happening more and more lately. I need to get out of the house more.

      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:43 AM

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      Thursday, January 06, 2005

      10:51 a.m. still snowing.
      Suzy snowflake gently dancing her way down, leaving at least another fucking inch since I posted earlier. Let me get my hands on that bitch. I'd like to choke the shit out of her before she melts. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 10:51 AM

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      7:51 a.m. and the official snow measurement is 9 inches here. And it is still coming down! Crap! Whine, whine, pout, pout!!!!

      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:51 AM

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      Wednesday, January 05, 2005

      I am just going to babble today, because that is what I do. I got a call from my Aunt K. last night informing me that my cousin Nonie had passed away. This was not unexpected. Not because Nonie had been ill for a number of years. But because I had suddenly begun thinking of her the night before last. Nonie was my second cousin, we weren't close, but I liked her. I had only known her a couple of years. I saw her about once or twice a year when Aunt K and I take our trips to the upper peninsula of Michigan. She was from my mom's side of the family. I love that side of my family, well that's the only side that I have left. With the exception of some very distant cousins that I barely know, dad's side has pretty much died out. But I am very close with my mom's side. We also have a fairly interesting ancestry on mom's side. Dad's ancestors came from Germany and England and I'm not putting that down. It is just that mom's side has much more, variety. Her ancestors came from Scotland, Ireland, France, Canada, The Huron Nation, Africa and England. We are still tracing the genealogy. Odd thing is that, even though is was about 12 or so generations back, the women in my family seem to carry some of the Native American traits to this day. Many of us, at times have been mistaken for Native American. I think its the cheek bones, they are very high.
      OK, new babble - the weather, it's frickin snowin! Now I don't mind snow. I love the first snow of the year. I love snow for Yule and Christmas. It's January the 5th, it can stop now. We have about 2-3 inches already and it's still snowing. They are calling for 6-12 inches total by tomorrow morning in the far northern Chicago suburbs, with the most falling along the Illinois - Wisconsin border. Fuck! That's where I live! Hubby is outside shoveling now. I had planned to go see earthy today and take her a care package as she is under the weather. That is a bust. My driveway is off the alley, that is the last place they plow. I won't be venturing out today.
      I guess I'll be working on my story today. Well I will take a Montel break soon, Sylvia Browne is on today. Then I'll eat. The back to writing. My heroine has just decided to forgive the hero and they have just had some incredible makeup sex. I need to e-mail earthy the updates so she can rip them apart. She's actually a pretty good editor, keeps me inline.

      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 9:14 AM

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      Tuesday, January 04, 2005

      I just got home from seeing Dr. Bubblehead. As usual, she was 30 minutes late for my appointment. I think she does it on purpose to see if she can piss me off. I normally would have walked out but as I weighed in at 199 lbs. today, I was in a good mood. I haven't been under 200 lbs in well over a year and a half. Yeah me!

      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 11:42 AM

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      Monday, January 03, 2005

      1. Newspaper:: column
      2. DVD:: player
      3. Resolution:: never make them
      4. Intimate:: encounter
      5. Song:: bird
      6. Essential:: love
      7. Whistle:: while you work
      8. Glass:: blower
      9. Countdown:: to midnight
      10. Child:: less


      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 7:54 AM

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      Saturday, January 01, 2005

      Happy New Year Everyone.

      Broomhilda worshipped the goddess at 4:08 PM

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